Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
