I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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