im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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