some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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