Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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