I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
