Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
