I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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