I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
