He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
