How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
