Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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