i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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