It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
