i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
