How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
