my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
