after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
