Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're a waste of cheezeits
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
