my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
