I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
