Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
