yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
