you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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