im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just puked most of my soul out..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
