i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
