Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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