We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
