Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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