The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
