K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
