I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
