think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
time to smoke my breakfast
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
