Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so let's talk penis.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
