ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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