do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
