i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
