Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
