we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
