Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There r osticjed everywhere
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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