can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
