You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
