don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
