Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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