he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is her dick bigger than yours?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
