sarcasm needs its own font
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
