between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
