Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
