i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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