is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
