Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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