I love black thongs
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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