he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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