I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
