wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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