I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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