Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
