no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
bring money and cleavage
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize