I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
