I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
